Learning to relax and calm down about parenting makes you a better parent. It’s such a simple idea. But so very hard to accomplish.
You wake up and you think, “ok this is going to be a good day.” Then you go happily along to check your kiddos only to find they’ve smeared poop on your walls, themselves, and EVERYTHING else. Yea we’ve all had those days, if you haven’t then you are a magic wonder from heaven and I would love for you to teach me your ways. Suddenly your sunny magical day goes down the drain and you are in SUPER STRESS mode. You are not alone and it happens to the best of us. But, what you need to learn is well, roll with the poop. Clean it off the walls, throw away anything that you can’t bleach, oh and clean your kid. Then let the sunshine back in. Life will carry on. You do not have to stay stressed about what could’ve happened to your kid if this or that might have happened simply because it didn’t happen. Wow that was a mouthful…
Worrying about everything around doesn’t make things great. It doesn’t keep bad things from happening and it certainly doesn’t make you any more prepared for them. It just makes you cranky and stressed out.
You are never going to be perfect. End of story. Everyone may think you are. You may even feel like you are somedays but for every perfect day there are equally as many bad days. Those days where it feels like the world is coming down around you.
Honestly, no one enjoys spending time around someone that is uptight and constantly rattling off all the bad stuff. It really puts a damper on some of the best days to hear the person you’re with talk about all the things you didn’t get done or didn’t do well enough.
If you take nothing else into account what do you think over striving for perfection does to your health? Well it causes mood swings, lack of energy, concentration problems, sleeping problems, increased blood pressure, higher cholesterol, reduces the efficacy of the immune system, stomach cramps, etc. The list goes on and you can find the one I looked at here.
You will not be remembered by your children as the mom who was perfect and always had everything together. You will be remembered as the mom who spazzed out on every outing from the house because that’s what kids remember. They won’t remember the perfectly prepared meal you made them but they will remember you losing it because they turned their lunch box on its side before you could take a picture of your food artwork.
I’m by no means telling you it’s ok to be mediocre. I mean who wants to settle for mediocre, I guess unless that’s your sweet spot then more power to you. I am saying that you should celebrate those days that turn out perfect. But you need to embrace those days that don’t, the ones that simply just suck. They’re both important parts of life and even on those genuinely bad days there are memories being made, so don’t let them be you stressed out about to blow your top. Show your kids what it really means to roll with the punches, good and bad. If you want your kids to stop feeling as though they need to be perfect then be their role model and show them what that really looks like. Remember kids learn by watching not being told.
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